If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
