Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
