My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
