Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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