Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I am available for nakedness
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
