I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
