Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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