Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i was born a porn star she said
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
