hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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