You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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