I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
