The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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