What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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