There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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