I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
