who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I could fuck to npr.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
My vagina is very pro this idea
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
