Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
