I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
