I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
