I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Randomize
