If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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