apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
