It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
