I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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