Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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