But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
