She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I just googled if crying burns calories
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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