I just made out with a guy for $7.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize