kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You don't make any sense
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