It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
