I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize