You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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