So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
