It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
