is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize