It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
