she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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