these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
