You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
