I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
