my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
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