If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
