mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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