it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
