VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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