So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
