i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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