Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
organizing the empties. That sober.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
