Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
