You smell like stripper and shame
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
