I don't usually arrange sex via text message
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
