She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
