I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
