Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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