I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
