If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
