Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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