belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
