Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Life is so much better after having sex.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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